Thursday, January 5, 2012

Re-Building Joy

Someone recently posted this laughing photo of me at a wedding on Facebook. It's a fun pic, but the day I saw it, I got really sad. I cried. The photo had been taken 365 days earlier and I felt so far from that huge laugh after the past year. The two pics on the right are pics from this week... I'm still able to smile and appreciate moments and laugh and dance and sing, but I'm clawing my way out of a lot of pain and definitely don't have that depth of joy and hope that is so evident in the first pic.
I've started to go to a counselor. This week I told her that I was setting aside Jan 1- Feb 29 (my leap year birthday) to try and focus on doing things that will heal me and feed my heart. I am planning on finding at least one thing a day that will be a healing activity. She loved that idea and spoke to me about "Building Joy" back into my life. She pointed out that unless I am filled, my family will remain wounded.
I was unable to write many details about what was happening this past year, but you know it was hard. The real reason I quit making those hand-stamped charms was that my hands shook so hard that I could no longer make them. I cried over so many charms as they sat ruined on my desk and decided it was time to give it up.... That's only a sliver of where I've been. But that is then. And this is now. And...
I've decided to lightly chronicle this journey here on my blog, since you readers have been so encouraging to me all along... You are invited to read along, view my pics and breathe in a little deeper with me as I do my best to come back to laughter and spend these days "Re-building Joy". I have no idea what to expect, but I do know that I'm being very intentional about this.
I hope you don't mind.


Jill said...

I am excited for you. I look forward to reading about your joyous times.

Christy said...

Love this idea. I read a phenomenal book this year called "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. When I finished, I wanted to buy it for everyone I knew. It's a beautifully poetic, quick read. I think it lines up with and speaks to exactly what you are saying here.



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