Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Our marriage tip for everyone

Jay and I have been married almost 13 years. We have weathered more than 5 major career changes, unemployment, some intense church issues, a robbery that occurred while I was at home, a short sale, a loan modification, 3 remodels, 2 cross country moves, living with both sets of parents for 3 months each, surgeries, grad school (for him), birthing 2 very intense kids, fostering 4 other kids - and losing 2 babies that we were supposed to adopt back into the foster system... The final one sending me almost into a nervous breakdown after I spent over a year with my life being threatened by the biological mother. People often look at our marriage and ask us how we are so close, how do we weather everything? We always give the same answer... It was something that we figured out when we were dating.... when we were dealing with struggling with each other and personality conflicts... After one heated discussion in particular, we realized that if we approached each conflict we faced remembering that this person here in front of me is my biggest fan, that everything would go better.
Now we tell everyone that. There are people we told that to years ago who still tell us every time they see us that those words have helped them shape their marriage. I tend to think the whole mentality works really. In all honesty, we don't take credit for this insight... We probably read it somewhere - but we can't remember where that might have been, so for now it's our tip. Share it freely, because we all need a biggest fan, and marriage is kind of awesome when you are married to yours.



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