Sewing machine Sketch

The thing about a sewing machine is that a bad one will make you hate sewing, while a good one will inspire you SEW much that you think about it when you're not even sewing. ;)
I have one of each. The frustrating one (a very fussy Pfaff) is now on vacation down at my dad's studio and gets used on my days there. The other one is a simple, much less expensive, but non-finicky Kenmore (Janome) that makes me happy every time I use it. And even when I'm not using it, like when I am sketching with Z in the early mornings.

First finished quilt of 2012

Wow. It only took about a year, but I did it. And finished tonight, the 100% hand sewn, (English Paper pieced) quilt. I wanted to know if I could do it. (I can, apparently) Even Mimi knows this is a big deal and asked me today if this was only using my hands and no machines... Not even an iron.)
I was so proud to say YES.
This photo was taken of me a few weeks ago as I promised my guild that I'd finish it soon.
Promise completed.
I think my favorite part about it is how the neutrals look all mixed together, acting as one piece ... And then are all punctuated by the red thick hand quilting. Very much unexpected from how I started this, but that's what creativity is for.
All that's left is to do the label and get some good pics.

Re•building joy - Jan 19

A second time recently, I've been able to take advantage of a quiet room in my dads office building that I am allowed to come sew in, at my convenience. It's not close to my home, but it's peaceful, perfect for sewing, and I get to have lunch with my parents as an added bonus.
I was there all day yesterday, working on 4 different projects I've been sketching through for over a year. The ideas are finally getting realized and the only way I can describe my feeling is to say that it feels like I may be getting creatively "un-clogged".
The way I am is that I work on many things at once, depending on my mood or inspiration. Some ideas strike and are completed within an hour or a day or week. The ones that start as concepts with sketches and more thought actually stay in my head and sketchbooks a long time before being realized because it's easy to bypass them for today's inspiration.
To get 4 sketches turned into actual tangible projects is so encouraging. It makes me wonder what will come once these are all worked out.
You'll see these projects all developing with me over the next few months, but here's a peek through the door into "a room of one's own" - the place where I'm weekly working out my creativity and thought processes as I seek to unclog the dusty trails in my brain. (note the coffee mug and the speakers for my latest playlist to also inspire... And yes, that is my old easel from college art days. Someday I hope to have a place to set it up at home.)

Project idea... Twiggy names

We have this photo with our last name in twigs up in our house. I love personalized things and have found it's a fun way to give a very inexpensive and thoughtful gift to friend... When I'm somewhere where there are lots of snapped and broken twigs around, I spell out names of people I love and take pics.

Re•Joy - jan 13 - 77 degrees and snowy

After school yesterday, we got a text from a neighbor... "we have snow on our front yard! Come sledding!" I happened to have one extra pair of pants in the car for Mimi, and z just wore his shorts, but we trucked over the 5 blocks and the kids sledded to their hearts' content. Mimi's BFF Tina was with us and had never seen snow before...

I remember seeing a commercial when I was a kid of a family in LA buying snow for their front yard, but how many kids actually ever have that happen???

WIP - timeline quilt

WIP - timeline quilt, a photo by libby dibby on Flickr.

It's rare to start and finish a quilt top in one day, but this one is an idea I have been sketching versions of in my journal for months.
I'm not sure I love it as a quilt, but if I look at it as expressive artwork in the form of a quilt... It says exactly what I wanted it to say.

I'll likely hand quilt it... Keep you posted...

Re. Joy - Jan 12 - working it out

I've been outside a lot. Reading. Soaking up sunshine. Thinking. Journaling.
Today was beautiful outside, but I spent it inside. I took my tools and went to my dad's design studio to use a room in his building that was once offered to me as a studio. It's quiet there. Lots of natural light, clean floor space and a great table. A room of my own.
Today I sewed for most of my day - other than having lunch with both of my parents. I was hoping to find a way in fabric to express this chaos I have walked through.

This piece is big and jarring to look at. That was intended. It's stressful looking. Also intended. It's dissonant. It's an unsolved question. It's hard to figure out how to place it properly. But, it's only a piece of the puzzle. Only a section of a larger whole. It's quite cathartic, too. Now I will work with it's placement into context.
I have to also look at my personal circumstances. As chaotic and inexplicable as they may be, they have to somehow become placed into context. They are not the big picture. They are just a piece of a big picture. I'm knee deep in fallout now, but I know there will be a bigger, more
peaceful framework around this later. And given some breathing room, it won't hurt as much as it does now.

Re-building joy - Jan 11

Jan 11. I spent it with my dear friend (and maid of honor, 12 years ago!), Amy. Ironically, Amy lives in Thailand, but passes through LA a couple times a year and as such, I see her more than any other long-distance friend of mine. She always seems to be passing through during big events... She was here the day after Z was born, the day after G arrived... So many amazing moments.
We spent the morning on a hike in Bronson canyon. (you can see the Hollywood sign behind us in that photo we took of ourselves)... It was quiet, and we laughed remembering a lot of hikes together over the years. Hikes during college in Malibu, which often took pause by trees as I sketched or took photos and Amy spread out her homework....

Hikes we've taken together in Idaho, Israel (daily home through a forest, from the archeological dig we worked on for a summer), and in Thailand when I visited her...
If there is one person in the world that I know how to be quiet with, it's Amy.

She texted this morning, saying she wished she had the right words to say. But the people I am enjoying the most right now are not the ones trying to be encouraging, finding the right things to say. The most safe people I have found now are the ones who admit that they are at a loss for words and are willing to allow the silence and unfinished sentences and unanswered questions to be a part of our encounter.
Those are the people that I am surrounding myself with these days. Those are the friends I am having lunch with. And I love them for that.
I love a friend who knows that sometimes silent presence or willingness to walk into my pain and confusion is the best thing they can offer.
You all know who you are. You friends who have emailed with me, texted, hugged, shed tears, left cookies on my porch, mailed little packages, all of it. I am surviving because I know you are not afraid of my pain. You aren't trying to fix anything or say the right thing and you love me right where I am at.

Re-building joy - Jan 10

I spent the first 23 years of my life within 5 miles of the beach. Then I moved to Chicago for 5 years and now we live about 10 miles inland and there are weeks I go without seeing the ocean. Today's little tiny sliver of ocean was a part of a peaceful day in Santa Monica - which started with tea and scones with a precious friend in a new favorite tea room and moved on to a day spent redeeming a gift certificate at a spa. I snuggled into a robe and read a book by the enclosed outdoor fireplace. It was quiet today. I thought of about 9 other things I wanted to do and intentionally cut them out.
My carpool partner and I were chatting this morning and she was holding me accountable, saying "are you making sure to not get distracted and waste your precious hours?" I told her, yes, I'm literally writing these events into my calendar and doing my chores and obligations around them. We all know that intentional time for our souls is so easy to give away to the things that speak louder... Kids, meals, laundry, a neighbor needing emergency babysitting. These things all are still happening. But in being intentional in joy-building, I'm making sure that I don't ignore myself. Or little slivers of the ocean that are still there, even when I'm not.

Rebuilding joy - January 9

Yesterday our pastor read a beautiful prayer by Thomas Merton that I copied into my journal this morning during some quiet time.

 After my appt with my therapist today, I went to Barnsdall Art Park and sat barefoot on a wall in the sunshine overlooking Los Angeles and Hollywood.

Time to be quiet. Time to think... Today my therapist said that as things calm down in life I will also find that pain percolates to the surface... Because my heart and brain are finding safe moments to release it. I think of the cement stepping stone Mimi and I made this weekend. We mixed it up really well and then as things settled, I showed her how tapping on the edges, there will be air bubbles that come to the surface.  "see, we didn't know that was in there. And it would have made your stone weaker, but now it's out. And it will be stronger."

Time to be quiet... I so wish I could heal quickly, in a microwave maybe. But there are some things that seem to have to cure naturally, in fresh air and sunshine... Like cement. And broken hearts.