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Friday, April 27, 2012

Re•building joy - I caught myself singing

I had a long drive yesterday at dusk. The skies in LA have been unbelievably beautiful this week as a very unusual storm passed through. I was able to watch the sunset in my rear view mirror and see it reflect off downtown and the urban hills and trees of LA as I drove east to the foothills. Beautiful. If I weren't going 68mph, I would have been taking pictures - so many.
But the images are sealed in my mind. I was alone, there wasn't traffic, for some reason... I put on my favorite playlist really loud and enjoyed the moment. There was a moment though where suddenly I realized, "I'm singing loud in my car!"
I think I have caught myself singing only two of three times in the past six months. Not much.
But the sun seems to be rising. The flowers are appearing on the earth.
Ironically, I also have found that I cry more easily when I think of missing Gray (I so wish I could show you pics of him!) - but I am smiling more too. Things are getting unclogged.

I'm really ready for spring. It's been a long winter. I remember from my 5 winters in Chicago that the first crocuses that poked through the snow were the sign that we had made it. I have seen crocuses. And I have caught myself singing.